“I’m obviously crazy. It’s only logical…right?”
Those that have experienced B12 deficiency may be able to relate to the feeling of deep desire – almost a yearning – of wanting to actually FEEL healthy, energized, not tired, and joints and muscles not stiff, sore and aching. However, the recurring disappointment time and again of NEVER being able to get there; at any level. The times when you worked tirelessly and diligently to eat the rights things and keep at bay sugar, processed foods and the other crap we know isn’t good for us. The times when you painstakingly drug your lug of a body out of bed at 5am to get in a workout before work and yet again in the evening to keep your body – as you could only hope – to keep moving, energized and feeling good.
Yet, sadly,doing the right things with nothing to show for it and having the self-esteem blowing days when you wake up weeks later and realize none of your dedication and hard work has made any significance improvement. Still not getting good sleep and waking up feeling as though you were on a weekend drinking binger. Still dragging your body to the workouts with the trainer and not being able to finish the treadmill workout without your legs being in so much charlie-horse pain that the streaming tears finally turns into an emotional breakdown in the middle of the gym. The only response you can give is your legs hurt. Your trainer, like everyone else, thinks you give up too easy and you’re a quitter. Any motivation and inspiration that you had was quickly replaced by a belief there is something wrong with you. Nobody knows what. The doctors tell you nothing is wrong, it’s in your head. Then you think, “well, I’m obviously crazy.” It’s only logical…right?
You don’t forget that feeling. Even when you are healthier and some ‘miracle worker’, whoever they may have been, discovered your B12 deficiency and started you on the path of treating and managing it. Your body might not be feeling the pain, but your mind does not forget that feeling of failure that you have no control over. What a horrible and vicious cycle and I am here to hopefully help you lessen that burden. No matter how many times you have started and felt like you have failed. You start again. And when you fail again. You start again. Failure is only a perspective. Putting aside any expectation of the outcome, other than “I am going to be better.”
Credit: lifeoutsideoflaw.com
I am starting again. I am going to be better.
I’ve joined a 30-day ‘Booty-Bustin Boot Camp’ that is being held by a local yoga-pilates-barre studio. The first week is a 10-day cleanse of drinking warm lemon water with cayenne pepper 2-3 times a day. We are also taking our measurements this week so we know what we’ve accomplished at the end of our booty buster. Since being instructed to do this 10-day lemon and cayenne cleanse, it seems like I’ve just happened along articles talking about this very thing. Who knew so many people do this on a regular basis.
After a little research, it seems that many health and wellness people recommend this practice.
However, the mixing of lemon and cayenne pepper is NOT to be confused with the wildly popular Master Cleanse that includes adding maple syrup and this is all you eat or drink for the course of the cleanse. The belief behind the lemon and cayenne cleanse is to get our bodies and internal organs to detox naturally with the lemon and water and help kickstart fat burning and metabolism with the spicy cayenne pepper. I have to say I do like the taste of the mix. It is slowly replacing my need for coffee in the mornings. The cayenne pepper gives it a pleasant kick if your taste buds are naturally on the sassy side.
Today is day two of the lemon and cayenne pepper mix. So far so good. However there hasn’t been any booty busting yet. I’ll let you know how that goes.
Here’s to an ongoing feeling of health, never giving up regardless of feeling like a failure, and knowing that we ALL have a crazy space that we live in. Don’t let anyone else tell you what your crazy space is and how to live in it. Just live in it. Own it.
The B12 Chronicles 